Early Morning

I am up early this morning, a common occurrence since I started working nights. The ever so faint glimmer of light in the sky drew me outside to sit on the bench on the patio and watch the morning come.

Such stillness at that time. The only sounds being those made by the ventilation systems of nearby buildings and the sound of water being forced through the apartment complex irrigation system.

In my white cotton nightgown, I wrapped a soft woolen shawl around my shoulders and sat watching the sky lighten imperceptibly moment by moment. Until a faint gray haze of cloud could be seen, then gradually, a hint of palest pink that turned apricot as the first rays of the sun kissed it.

A deep breath and I can smell the damp earth, the faint scent of pine in the air, the damp smell of summer worn grasses.

A lean stray cat wanders by, pricking his ears at sounds I cannot hear. As I sit silent and still, he passes by, unaware of my presence.

As the light grows, the shapes of trees, previously dark umber blue shadows in the night take shape and shift color to blue greens.

Out of the dark, a hummingbird startles me, buzzing to the feeder over my head, then having drunk his fill, flies to a nearby branch and sits for a moment, a small gray spot on the end of a branch, until suddenly, he is back again.

The first birdsong of morning ~ a lonely trill in the trees on the hillside above. The short bark of a fox. The call of a raven and then another as they fly overhead, dark shapes against a pewter blue sky.

In the Celtic tradition of Christianity, I sit, open to the stillness of God and sense his handiwork in all that is around me. And he is there. Peace, deep and endless, soothing and reassuring is there too. It fills me up.

Be still, and know that I am God. (Psalm 46:10)

And the lord was not in the earthquake or the wind or the fire, but in the small still voice he came. (1 Kings 19:11, 12 ~ my paraphrase)

He didn’t come in grand visions, with big prophecies or earth shattering revelations. But in that stillness, He said, I am here. I always am, all you have to do is stop and pay attention, for I am with you always (Matthew 28:20). And I am comforted, soothed, reassured.

Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, my savior, have mercy on me.

And he did.

Dive Deep, Swim Far

Time for an update! Today was my “intro evaluation”, which means that I have now completed not only 3 months of orientation but 3 months of working on my own on the job! I do love my job. Working with the moms and babies has been truly gratifying. In a few weeks, I start training to become a certified lactation (breastfeeding) counselor. At the moment, I am debating whether or not to also start teaching all day Saturday childbirth classes at the hospital. I am a bit reluctant as I don’t want to lose the time to paint and do other things that I’ve fought so hard to get.

At long last, I’ve picked up the oil paints again and have been doing some small sketches to get back into it. Have been doing lots of pen and watercolor sketches as well. In addition, I’ve been spinning and knitting up a storm and really loving having the time to do it. Then there are the stacks and stacks of photos that I’ve been trying to get organized and have started scrap-booking a few of them.

Downsizing my belongings has been much on my mind lately. This move accentuated the fact that I have far too much stuff. After downsizing by roughly 1/3, I still have more than comfortably fits in the apartment, so am working on downsizing still more. After all, how many dishes does someone need who lives alone with 2 cats? I think I have something like 5 sets of dishes, enough to seat well over 30 people at a formal dinner! And then there are the books. I have hundreds if not thousands of books. While I love having them, I have come to the realization that there is a large proportion of them that I have read but never referred to again and so those will go. This will hopefully decrease my “stash” by about ½! I do long to live a simple, less cluttered life and downsizing is but one hurdle on the path to doing so. I’ve also chosen to live without TV and find that I read more, spend more time painting, spinning and knitting as well as more time spent watching the birds and wildife, all things that enhance life for me. I do still watch a lot of movies but even that is decreasing somewhat as I focus on other more productive things.


“Be not the slave of your own past—plunge into the sublime seas, dive deep, and swim far, so you shall come back with self-respect, with new power, with an advanced experience that shall explain and overlook the old.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson

Blessings and peace dear friends!

Recommended from my reading and movie watching this month.
Books:
"The Big Beautiful" by Pamela Duncan
"Around the Next Corner" by Elizabeth Wrenn (a schoolmate of mine from Elementary through HS)
Movies:
"Evelyn"
"The Snow Walker"